Everyone gave up on me. New place every 6 months. Now I have a family, that im destroying.. I send strength to you that you learn to love yourself. Facing our shadows feels all kinds of scary, it really does, but I promise you, it is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself and all those who love and care for. That came a bit later on my own but I already set in motion of my healing and the universe responded. It really does hear what we want what we express, negative and positive.
Much love to you. Thank you for the information and story Really meant alot to me. Honestly you gave me hope. God Bless You seriously. This really hit me hard. I tick off pretty much everything on this list.
I engage in self-destructive behavior all the time. Aside from all of the above symptoms which I do almost always, I also:.
Is there any reason why you loathe your entire existence? Warmly, Luna. When I feel like I have been wronged, my kindness taken advantage of, or rejection I end up saying some really harsh things, being devious and can be a tad revengeful. I know what mine stems from. My mom was verbally abusive and at a young age I was always on the defensive.
Then in seeing 3 major female role models mom, grandmother, and aunt act out like they did. After I lash out and make matters worse, I immediately know that I was wrong. I admit that I am wrong to the other party and apologize, whether they do or not. I am very forgiving where others are concerned. And will give most chances to do it again. I have a hard time forgiving myself and will carry guilt for a long time.
I am an over thinker and I over analyze. I know that there is no way to go back and change the past, but I will sit and think about decisions I made 30 years ago and wonder if I had done this different or that different would I be as miserable as I feel. Until the day my mom died I looked for her validation and never felt like I met her expectations. She loved me, there is no question about that. She raised me to be a strong woman and an independent woman. I am proud to say she was my mom.
This validation spilled over into most of my relationships whether love or friendship all my life. Not until recently was I able to confront that flaw, admit I have it and hope the next time I am confronted with that demon as I call it, I can just smile and quietly walk away. Then after I have done that, not listen to my shadow self and not make the issue more than it is.
I have not really studied about that yet but I think I have the concept. And I have realized the only validation I need is my own but I dont feel like I deserve it because of the guilt.
This article is sadly reassuring for me to read. I have been sabotaging my life for years now, decades really. I have thrown away countless opportunities and relationships and all for some sick obsession with destroying my own life. I have drank myself into stupors, avoided social interactions, neglected friends and family, thrown away education opportunities and all in the name of some sick desire to feel justified in having and done nothing with the short amount of time we are afforded on this spinning rock.
I appreciate you posting this here though, it clears up a lot of questions about my self that I have had for some time. I hate myself for it. But the most recent act really crushed me and involved another person who I care deeply about. If you could say I cared about them but I was…being destructive.. I told him he was stupid, I projected my feelings about myself onto him. I told him to leave me alone. But, really he had been trying to offer me help. I needed him to know that I did not mean my words from the heart.
I ended up hurting the both of us tremendously by putting up a wall. But at the time I thought I was protecting myself. And now that we have realized what was really going on, it simply feels like a major loss. We originally had plans to meet in person and were looking forward to seeing each other, but I ruined the likelihood of that happening. So many layers.. They feel that their rejection of others is justified.
They fail to recognize their feelings and emotions. Instead, they unconsciously try to keep them hidden. They have all kinds of rationalizations to justify their behavior and refuse to admit that they have a problem.
If someone suggests that they visit a psychologist, they will see it as a sign of aggression and contempt. They may react aggressively if they receive advice or someone insinuates that they should change their behavior. Self-destructive people often forget about their own bodies. Also, they have a negative opinion about their body and, of course, physical pleasure like sexuality. The lack of body care is a manifestation of how little they appreciate themselves.
If they have insomnia , they accept it and are reluctant to take action to solve it. Life demands sacrifices in many circumstances. If they simply become a constant condition that leads to bad situations, they correspond to a self-destructive behavior.
Some people assume that these continued self-sacrifices are a test of nobility, good character, or altruism. What conceals this type of behavior is giving up on their desires, dreams, and achievements.
They maintain painful or unrewarding situations only to reduce the chances of being well. Oddly enough, if they feel loved or appreciated, they will do everything in their power to put an end to that. They feel better being the victim than being fortunate. They prefer to elude luck in order to complain about it.
Sabotaging positive relationships is a way to stay in a self-destructive position. This type of behavior speaks of undigested experiences and difficulties in structuring a self-image.
Self-destructive people are, above all, victims of themselves. This identity comes from traumatic circumstances. Do you know why they say that? Because they do too little. Your actions and your work ethic make them feel less than. Find people that work as hard as you do and are as motivated as you. There is only what you do and how much you decide to do of it, which is a process and number created by you, no one else. The Not Good Enoughs. These are the people that constantly complain and express how unhappy they are.
Nothing is ever good enough to these people and nothing will ever be good enough. The longer you stay around these grim reapers, the more you start to think like them and complain like them. Excuse me, garbage people and their trash antics. It could be by having a conversation with them over an awkward cup of coffee, slowly removing yourself from them with baby steps, or by completely dropping them cold turkey as if you were a member of the witness protection agency. The longer they stay in your life, the worse off you are.
You just have to first make the decision to do so. These words are for us all. Beyond Worthy , by Jacqueline Whitney.
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